Can you see my vagina?

Of course you can't because it's hidden with the camo under roo's!

How did I come across these camoflaged pantaloons?? My mother!! Can you believe my mother bought me lingerie!

I discovered these when my mother had sent me home with a bag of "scrubs". Now, when she handed over this bag she stated scrubs. She made no mention of sexy under pants. I get this bag home, and neglect to look through it for probably about a week. Then the magical day came when I actually had a day off and had time to look through it, and to my amazement I found the above pictured panties. Now, I HATE the word panties, for whatever reason it sounds feminine and stupid. BUT they are panties! I mean look at them! they're frilly and camoflaged!

I didn't come across them at first, infact they were the last pair I lifted out of the bag, and if I remember correctly I think I laughed and then gasped. Why would my mother buy me such a pair of underwear? Does she think she raised a harlett? Who in the hades would I wear these for?

I mean I don't have a lot of sexy underwear, and when I do decide to get it on it's not like the clothes are left on for a long time. I mean I just don't understand why my mother bought me such a pair of underwear!?!?! It's not like they're comfortable enough to wear like day to day. When I think, "What underwear can I put on today to run to the supermarket." my brain does not automatically jump to the camo under roo's that are sitting in the under roo drawer. No, no, no I definitely think of something more sensible to put on.

When I asked my mother about the under roo's she said she bought them for her, but didn't really like them, so she thought she'd give them to me. "Who do you think I'm going to wear these for?" I asked her, "Well, I hope not for anyone!" Now, she knows that I'm not some innocent virgin the fact is that she thought I'd wear them for someone. Iyiyi.....What's going to happen next.

I did secretly wear them out Thursday.....The guy I'm dating now really likes them ;o)

Christmas can bite me!

Now, I'm not an ebenezer (sp?) Scrooge! But I do have a problem with the holiday season. I just can't stand it. I hate the snow and the cold, and the snow and the cold, and I did I mention the snow and the cold??? I wasn't ment to live in colder climates. I don't know why my ancestors decided that Michigan was going to be a lovely place to settle down. Seriously, why couldn't they have decided that they wanted to travel several hundred more miles the west...why couldn't one of them say "Let us see what is on that island made by volcanos, were grass skirts and coconut bras are appropriate forms of dress." If that were the case perhaps I'd be bitching now because I live on and island where the sun shines all the time.... I doubt it.

I know I'll get this every where, no matter where I move, but I hate christmas advertisements. Christmas isn't portrayed as family togetherness anymore or coming together to celebrate the birth of Christ. It's all about stuff. How much you can buy, and how much you should buy. Why do we need a reason to buy gifts for people? Why do we need to buy someone a new lexus to prove to them how much we love them?? "Here I love you here's a new Lexus!" First of all, if I had money to buy a Lexus my bitch ass would not be buying anyone but myself a new Lexus.

Maybe the reason for my scroogy-ness is the fact that I have a job that pays in peanuts (and not real peanuts either those packing peanuts that are made of styrofoam) They don't pay enough for me to take a vacation and they sure as shit don't pay me enough to buy christmas presents.

So I say Bah humbug to the materialistc aspect of christmas.

Maybe one day I'll actually like the holiday season....from the beach of my ocean front property :0)

I'm Thankful.

Thanksgiving...the official kick off to the winter holiday's. It's actually one of my favorite Holiday's. Christmas was my favorite holiday for a while,but now there's just too much emphesis on how much you spend, and the bigger and better gift. Forget the fact that Christmas is about family togetherness, and celebrating the birth of Jesus..ya know the important things. Nope, better run out and get an iPhone 5million because that, in the eyes of some, will make you a saint.

I'm thankful for a lot this year. I'm always thankful for my awesome family. I don't know where I'd be without them. They are my support system. My parents never tried to control my life. They let me take the reigns freely, which at a point in life I thought wasn't how it was supposed to work. If they hadn't I wouldn't have been able to make the decisions I made, and I wouldn't have be able to find the person that I am, and I'm thankful for that.

I'm thankful for the strong friendships I have. I know I don't have many friends, but they're strong bonds, and I am appreciative of it.

I'm thankful of where I been the last year. The boyfriends that didn't work out. The minor tragedies that occured on a weekly basis, and the reconnection of someone that I missed so dearly.

I am mostly thankful that this year is almost coming to a close. I'm excited for a new year, and what it may bring :)

Soccer Ball!

This is not really about a soccer ball, but I wanted to do something that would get your attention :0)

I've been literally doing homework all day long. I need a break, and I felt like blogging. Aren't all you readers lucky!

I'm getting to that point where I'm having a hard time getting motivated to get my homework done. I'm so ready to just be finished with school. I have one semester left of classes and then next summer I start my externship, but I'm just ready to be done with it all. On the plus side, I can graduate next spring. I just need to decide if I want to walk again or not. I'm definitely ready for it.

I was concerned about working and doing my externship at the same time, but I think I'm just gonna take a month or two off and get my externship done, and not have to worry about working, or getting stressed out about trying to work and do my externship at the same time.


On another note, I have been day dreaming all day about moving to North Dakota with Mr.Knight..Why!?!? That would never happen, and he would never ask me to go with him, so why do I obesses about it? Why does he get to me so much?? I want him to be mine so badly...I have so many things that I want. It's damn near pointless.

He Puts Me On A Cloud

*Sigh* Why does one man have the ability to irritate the living piss right out of me, but make me  happy all at the same time? This guy isn't even mine, but he makes me feel like no other man has been able to do. I've been contemplating walking away from this abnormal friendship that he and I have. Do I stay and wait? Or do I go and hopefully find someone who makes me feel like he does? I guarentee that there won't be a guy out that who can. Believe me, I've had three failed attempts. I don't want any more failed relationships.

Tonight, I texted this aforementioned man and asked him if he was moving to Wyoming. I know this seems like a completely random and ridiculous question, but about 30 minutes before this text message was sent, I had gotten another text message from a guy (who I've never met, but we've talked several times about getting together for dinner, It never worked out however), and he said that he had gotten a job in Wyoming....I thought he ment the city of Wyoming. Nope! definately ment the state. I had never ment this man before, but I was shocked. He doesn't know how long he's going to be there for, and for some reason my mind automatically went to...(I'm trying to think of a nickname for him, something like Mr.Big, but not so Sex and the City.....Well, for now let's call him Mr. Knight.) Mr.Knight, all I could think about was him packing up and moving to Wyoming and not telling me about it. I know it sounds dramatic, but that would truly devestate me. So this is where the random text message comes in. I occasionally like sending Mr. Knight a random text; I think it's a personality quirk that he secretly likes about me. Anyway, He  responded with a yes, and I told him that I hope he was joking becuase I'd come to Wyoming and punch him in the face.

We talked for a second, and he mentioned that he wanted to go to North Dakota and work in an oil field...I understand the need for change in someone's life, but an oil field really?? In North Dakota no less. They have the coldest winters ever! Then he asked me to come, "Come with me" was his response, and I got that instant feeling in my stomach. Ya know, it feels like someone lit off a fire cracker in there. It makes you nervous, but the good kind of nervous. I know he was probably only joking, but if he really seriously asked me to go with him - I would. I would in a heartbeat. Mind you, if this were a real situation I would tell him that we needed to go under the circumstances that I was more than a friend. I would not leave my family and friends behind to move half way across the country to live with my friend.

This is why I wish he were more open to discussing things. I try not to push it, or bring it up. Maybe he's just waiting for the right time to talk about it. Or, perhaps I have a severe case of wishful thinking.... If I could only read minds.

A Person Can Live Without a Head....Right!?!

Day 2 of the Hangover, and I'm not talking about the movie. I'll admit I did over indulge Friday night, but a two day hangover is just ridiculous! I need to finish my outline for my speech today, and atleast get the power point started, but I seem sluggish, and my pounding head is not helping matters.

I've been trying to eat, but my stomach is still very flippy feeling. In 48 hours I've had two pieces of toast, and some soup. I've been drinking water to make sure I'm staying hydrated. Ugh I hate feeling like this, and truth be told I had four cocktails and two shots (not strong ones). I could drink the same amount of alcohol next week, and have a completely different reaction. I hate that! I hate that I could drink the same amount of alcohol five different times, and have five completely different reactions. My body needs to make up it's mind. Not just about it's wishy washy tendencies with the alcohol consumption, but with other things as well.

Maybe it's because I'm not very consistent with my body, so my body lacks the consistencies that I look for. I'm not saying that I'm going to be drinking mass quantities of alcohol on a regular basis. Oh god, that makes me wanna vom. My liver hates me today, and I can understand why. I swear it's one stiff drink away from cutting it's self out of my body. I haven't been this hungover in probably about a good year or so, and I can say with much confidence that I do not enjoy it.

I need to finish this speech outline, and take a shower....I just wanna lay down and take a nap. :0(

I'm a sad little kiddo today.

I didn't get the job at Farmers....


Two years ago today a woman I never thought I'd have to say goodbye to left.
I didn't really get to understand her until a year before she died, when she was diagnosed with Lung Cancer. To see her fight and stay positive day after day was amazing to me. Given those circumstances I would have buried my head in my pillow and cried.


She was a true fighter. The strength she exuded throughout her battle was nothing less than courageous. I embraced every moment we got to have with her. Even when her death was nearing our family came together. In those times I know seems weird to say, but our family had never been closer. We all came together to be there for her; to wait until she was ready.  I only wish I could be as brave as she.

The memories I have of grandma are very insignifant. There isn't one specific memory I have. I remember her coming over to mom and dad's and we were all on the deck, and she was so cold and wrapped in so many blankets I couldn't help but laugh. I remember the camping trips, and mom trying to give her her shots, and I remember her and Mike came over to have dinner, and I showed her how I folded T-shirts. I remember seeing her smile, and thinking of Grandpa Soules. I remember when Chanse was born and she couldn't get over how much hair he had. I remember the sound of Chanse's voice when he called her GG. I still remember how relieved and unbelievably sad I felt when she finally did leave us. It brought tears to my eyes then, and it brings tears to my eyes now. I will forever miss her, and I only hope that one day I'll be able to see that wonderful crooked smile again.