5 Stages of the Single girls grieving process.

I am a genius....Some may disagree, but I have formulated a process or stages, if you will (And I will), of the Single Girls Grieving process. We all know about Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's Five Stages of Grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. As much as I would love to slap this on a piece of paper and call it my own.I realize it's different when you get your heartbroken. In my most recent experience I realize this is not what takes place; It's a whole different ball game when a man breaks your heart.

The 5 Stages of the Single Grieving Woman:

1. The Crying stage - You cry. That's all, at the drop of a hat. You listen to your saddest songs on your iTunes just so you cry. People come up to you and say something simple like, "How are you?" and then water works start. Luckily for me, my crying stage lasted from Saturday to Monday.


2. The "I Don't Give a Shit" stage - After the crying finally stops and you can actually manage to have a decent thought process you go into a depressive stage. Nothing makes you happy, nothing makes you smile. You can't, or don't want to feel anything because you've spent the last-who-knows-how-long crying your eyes out. You're mentally and emotionally exhausted. On the plus side, you've probably lost about 10 pounds because you've also stopped eating (Hey, right now you're looking for a bright spot, any bright spot...choose your battles I guess)


3. The Blame Stage - If the guy wasn't a complete asshole then you try to find someone to blame, anyone really. Blame the mailman, or the guy that brings the lunch trolley around. Anyone will do really. Blaming someone is easier to do than dealing with the hurt you're faced with right. Blame the dog cause they'll love you regardless, and they'll still want to snuggle with you.


4.The Mad Stage - You get mad at the asshole (Even if he wasn't an asshole to begin with he broke your heart right!?!) who broke your heart. " That son-of-a-bitch will rue the day he broke my heart!! He'll rue it I tell you!!" or, "Who the hell does he think he is??" You get angry in your brain. Again, getting mad at the man will make it easier to deal with the pain. I say, let the obscenities flow.


5. The I'm Fabulous Stage - You realize that you are a fabulous woman. Now, since you've lost 20 pounds since you're appetite has not since returned from the "I don't give a shit" Stage, you need to change something. You get a new wardrobe or you change your hair. Something so you're a little bit different than the person you were before. I changed my hair. Long and blonde, to short and dark. The price to pay to change who you are. This is the end stage before you return to a somewhat normal state.

See, I told you I'm a flippin genius. Now since I've broken it down, I'm off to cure the world of cancer or solve world hunger or something like that...Actually, I'm off to get started on a paper for my Diversity in Society class (lame I know). The next 15 weeks can go by as fast as they want to...that's all I'm sayin'.